Last night, we attended a dinner party. Larry \u2013 who was seated across the dinner table from me \u2013 runs an advertising firm with two partners. He proceeded to tell a story about an email he\u2019d received earlier in the day from one of those partners.<\/p>\n
As he read, he sensed an underlying tone, which was reinforced by the writer\u2019s use of capitalization. Perturbed, he set it aside. Later, he asked a 3rd<\/sup> party to read the email before he responded. She agreed that his conclusions had merit. Still\u2026 he decided that \u2013 rather than send back a nasty email of his own \u2013 he\u2019d simply speak to his partner about it, The story struck a nerve. I\u2019d had an email situation yesterday as well, and as usual, with a complete stranger. Clients routinely use our website to make suggestions, ask questions, etc. \u00a0I often take time from my day to personally respond \u2013 a time consuming endeavor. This particular doctor\u2019s suggestion demonstrated that she was unfamiliar with a basic feature \u2013 a common problem.\u00a0We all have similar issues with feature laden software. I responded with information \u2013 nothing but the facts. I added CAPS and italics to emphasize\u00a0specific items. I was trying to be helpful\u2026 Her response:<\/p>\n \u201cI’ve taken alot of sarcasm in your response.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n and<\/p>\n \u201cThanks for the quick response; but\u00a0you could have removed the attitude.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n I re-read the email. What sarcasm? What attitude? What could she be referring to?<\/p>\n We answer a high volume of email. Perhaps once every few months, someone grossly misinterprets a response. For instance, in 2007, I was exchanging a series of emails with Dr. SK. In the middle of this exchange, he exclaimed: \u201cI am insulted by the way you respond as if I have no idea what I am talking about.\u201d<\/em> I requested he re-read my \u201cI appreciate your responses. My wife just reprimanded me for how I responded to you last e-mail. I get a little hot headed when I read into what people tell me. I\u2019m sorry about that.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n Unfortunately, such exchanges are time consuming for everyone. When I take time to personally respond to you, and\u00a0manage to alienate you in the process, I wonder why I bothered responding at all. But then I recall that your reaction is unusual. So, the next time you interact with us via email (or on the phone), please keep in mind that we\u2019re very busy and have better things to do than antagonize you. Any tone you perceive is your imagination\u2026 nothing more. And since better than 99.99% of my email exchanges occur without incident, I would like to think I don\u2019t need to attend an email etiquette seminar.<\/p>\n The irony is that though we go to great lengths to make ourselves available to you, we often can\u2019t win in such situations. When I believe a somewhat detailed explanation might be helpful\u2026 you may perceive this as \u201cbeing defensive.\u201d When I provide facts, you perceive an attitude \u2013 as Dr. SK did. \u00a0I wish I could provide facial cues, or a disclaimer\u2026 Anyway, please, please don\u2019t inject your<\/em> concept of sarcasm, contempt, ridicule or other negative connotations into my<\/em> verbiage. Thanks for your consideration.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Last night, we attended a dinner party. Larry \u2013 who was seated across the dinner table from me \u2013 runs an advertising firm with two partners. He proceeded to tell a story about an email he\u2019d received earlier in the … Continue reading
\nwhereupon he learned that his perception was considerably different from his partner\u2019s intent.<\/p>\n
\ncomments and received back the following:<\/p>\n